Beginning a new blog.  Starting a photography business.

I am a writer, a mother, an eclectic artist/creator/crafter.  I love to knit. I learned 4 years ago.  I painted with oils in college. I started writing at the age of eight when I started my lifetime discipline and therapy of journal writing.  I am attempting to write a novel now, inspired by NaNoWriMo 2 seasons ago. I have tried many things.  I have worked as a teacher and a counselor and now I am a stay at home mother homeschooling my three children.

I am bursting with something right now, hence the new blog. (I also have a blogger blog which I have practiced with for a number of years now as well.)

Part of my bursting is the motion of change. The action of creating the change.

I read the book The Lifechanging magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, and I could not wait to start purging.

I am not a minimalist.  I am in my craftiness a collector and cluttered, but, it is time to clear out what we no longer need or value.  Many things Kondo preached were quite on target, some a little bit much, but the general heart of keeping only what brings joy rings true. I found many many things that bring quite a bit of burden.

For four days, I almost ignored my kids. It was the first thing I needed to do when the school year was over.  I estimate I donated 30 -40 bags, and threw away perhaps 20.

My house needs still more attention, but it is much better now.  I have opened all the rooms I kept shut. I am no longer ashamed of any of them.  That is a start.

I feel like I can be a different person. I, at forty-one can still change. I need not be defined by who I have been, but by who I am becoming, can become. I wish to shed the clutter of the things we no longer value or bring joy. I wish to shed some pounds at the same time.

There may be some pain here.  It has not been an easy year.  The community we chose for support was not right for us.  We are not purposely selecting ourselves out; it is happening as a natural flow of being in the wrong place.  Still, I am experiencing a loss from this feeling of “failure.”  Pain is a great motivator.

It feels like an end and a beginning.

In this beginning, I am feeling drawn to an art I have always been working on without paying very much attention to it.  I have always taken photos religiously, at first with film and Clark Color Labs mail in development, then with a cell phone and instagram apps, I have dabbled with photo play.  I have had a Nikon, but have not used it to its capacity, and now, I want to take it to the next stage.  I am learning how to use the manual settings now, as well as how to edit. It feels like play and brings me joy, art, and beauty.